New Topic... ways to wind up the new apprentice

W

Whitewash

Member
"I'm after some new sparks for the grinder"

"go fetch me some gaps for the sparkplugs"

"this screwdriver is no good, go and fetch me a left handed one!"

"I need a metric adjustable spanner"


GO!
 
I used to be storeman at an engineering company. The amount of times a young nipper turned up to request a Long Weight at the serving hatch - and got one 8)
 
We used to send people to other camps for long stands when i was at scouts!

i still use some of these at work (i work with students) and got rid of a particularly erksom student for 30mins sending him to find me some sparks so i could check the wirng loom out.

anyone found a skyhook salesman locally>
 
I loved the one on American Hotrod when they told the new guy to shake the paint until it stopped rattling :LOL:
 
Then there was the apprentice send down to the store to get a set of wheels for a miscarriage
 
A new bubble for the spirit level.
I remember an apprentice refusing to go for a rubber mallet, until I borrowed one and threatened his wooden head with it!
The best way to wind up my apprentice was to tell him if he didn't get his finger out he would not receive extra folding pictures of the Queen on Friday.
 
webmaster said:
I loved the one on American Hotrod when they told the new guy to shake the paint until it stopped rattling :LOL:
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:D :D That's a good one.

No one has mentioned tins of elbow-grease, sky-hooks or tins of tartan paint.

Another old trick was to write down the phone number of the zoo on a piece of paper and give it to the victim saying that, "Mr Lion called for you and aksed if you could call him back please". With any luck, victim would ring the zoo asking to speak to Mr Lion :) .
 
Send the farmboy into town and the rural supplies for half a doz post holes
My wife recalls as a newby nurse ,being sent to the hospital stores dept for a box of fallopian tubes
 
JVY said:
Another old trick was to write down the phone number of the zoo on a piece of paper and give it to the victim saying that, "Mr Lion called for you and aksed if you could call him back please". With any luck, victim would ring the zoo asking to speak to Mr Lion :) .
Click to expand...

If Mr Lion's not there, ask to speak to one of his assistants, Mr G Raffe or Mr L E Fant........
 
One of my colleagues was told to order some "water wetter" he presumed it was a joke so didn't order it..... AMD then got in to trou le when it didn't arrive.
 
I was working with a young painter a few years ago the customer we were working for handed him an envelope and told him there’s a few drinks in there for him as he was pleased with the work he had done the lad was well pleased until he opened the envelope in the van and discovered it was a few T bags he was to say the least well p**d off
I never told him but I told the customer to give it to him :LOL:
 
I remember my father working on his transit van and finding that the spanner wasn't big enough, turned to me and said, "This 11/16 isn't big enough, pass me a 12/16!"

I did just that, much to his annoyance 8)

When working in a TV shop, I was sent round to a hardware store to get a stylus sharpened on a record player.

Richard
 
My Grandfather was a boilermaker for Rhodesian Railways and told me all the stories, so when I went into the motor trade, I had a ball going for long weights, metric adjustables and skyhooks until my journeyman twigged that I was onto him....
Life got busy after that, no skiving off in the canteen while the storeman played along with the long weight.. :(
 
I use my left handed hammer when space is too tight to swing the right handed one! :LOL:
While working on my nephews mini,I asked him to go ask his mums fella for a l/h hammer! :twisted:
I got a right earfull off his mum!! :)
 
Used to work at a swimming pool and always used to pee off the engineers/maintenence blokes by sending youngsters down for glass hammers etc only to be chased out the boiler room by the chief engineer, Charlie a miserable bad tempered old sod, with a flea in their ear.

One day we sent our latest YTS recruit down to Charlie, for some elbow grease.

Two minutes later he was back with a plastic container with the title "Elbow Grease" on the label. I was crestfallen. Old Charlie came up to do a Ph test on the pool water and sauntered up to me and said, "that shut you up". Turned out a company had produced a cleaning product called "Elbow Grease" and he had bought some in for the very occassion. :oops:
 
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