What you don't know about spoons

ghce

Well-Known Member
#1
Last night, I went with some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around I saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired a consulting firm to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed! I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant... That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the end of our "you know what," we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."

"Hhmmm...After you get it out, how do you put it back?" I asked.

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others... but I use the spoon"
 

Demetris

Well-Known Member
#3
Almost in the same context...

"There was a shepherd that was resting under the shade of a small tree, watching his flock of sheep grazing merrily the rich grass of the gentle slope of a hill. Suddenly, the peaceful scenery was disturbed by the unmistakably characteristic noise of a chopper, that was without doubt hovering somewhere nearby. Indeed, without the need to wait for any long time at all, the shepperd saw a small chopper landing on a flat spot a couple of hundrent metres away. A smart dressed young-ish man, in trendy sunglasses, jumped out of the helicopter, and walked vigorously towards the shepherd, holding a black briefcase on his right hand.
- "A very good morning sir" he greeted the shepherd with a distinct tone of confidence in his voice.
- "Good morning to you too" replied relaxed the shepherd.
- " I have a suggestion to make to you sir" continued without hesitating the smart dressed bloke. " If i could possibly tell you exactly how many sheep you have, would you allow me to take one of them with me?"
-"Sure, why not?" replied unruffled the shepherd.
-"All right then, let's start business." He sat in a conveniently placed large stone, opened his briefcase, pulled out a laptop, connected to a passing satellite, took a high resolution photo of their spot, and using a dot counting software had the exact number of the sheep in the flock in no time at all.
"Right, you have exactly 356 sheep" shouted victoriously our bloke.
-"Correct" replied the shepherd, "and i will honour my word. You can choose a sheep to take with you."
-"Thank you very much for your business sir!" was the answer of an obviously satisfied bloke, that wasted no time in trying to pull a nearby animal towards his chopper.
But no sooner did he start to make some progress, than the voice of the shepherd made him stop and turn around.
-"Before you leave, i have also to make a suggestion to you."
-"Of course you can, i am always open to suggestions" replied our bloke with the ever confident tone in his voice.
-"Well, if i could tell you in what kind of business you are in, would you return to me the animal?"
-"Consider it a deal!" was the reply of our stranger thinking that there was no possible way that a shepherd in a remote place like this would have ever heard of his profession.
-"You are a consultant" declared calmly the shepherd making our bloke to release the animal with a wilted expression in his face.
-"Indeed, this is my business" confirmed the bloke, "but how could you tell" asked still surprised.
-"Ah, that was obvious" was the reply of the shepherd. "You came out of nowhere, without anyone inviting you, asking me to pay you to give me an information that i already possessed, and on top of that you are irrelevant with my business because you can't tell between a sheep and a dog."
 
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